Funny old thing is skin. It's okay when it's neat on you but as soon as bits fall off you it becomes disgusting.
What about Aspie skin. Well I am intrigued to find out whether a lot of Aspies suffer from skin problems (more than 'normal' population).
My Aspie brother and I both suffer from skin irritations of one sort or another. Mine is bloody itchy at the moment. The legs I know about - it's from the inside of my boots (man made fibre) but the itches on my back defy me.
Brother has rashes all the time. Apparently these are allergies like mine.
Well, our genetics would make that possible I suppose. But then when speaking with other Aspies, it seems to be a common factor. I shall raise this specific issue on the Adult Support page tomorrow and see if I can get to the root of it all.
What about generally and without allergies? Well, certain parts of my body are very sensitive (oooo-err Missus - cut it out people). The arms (specifically from shoulder to elbow) cannot be touched - it is like having bruises on the skin. Sometimes even my hair seems to hurt - bizarre. A lot of Aspies have feet issues and of course there is my infamous belly button disorder.
So much for these skin issues. I shall develop this theme later!
The other stuff. Well, I have been of prime brain recently with the neurons firing as I imagine an NT brain might. I have not been befuddled or confused by much. Why this fluctuation of ability occurs I cannot say. I have spoken to other Aspies about it and it seems that I am not alone. People have good and bad days.
At the moment, I believe my well being is derived from positive action. I have updated my curriculum vitae and am pleased with the results. Not only am I pleased, but I have had a positive response from one or two employers already. I am quite surprised. Given my age and the recession, I thought a job cruise would be fruitless. A job cruise is an expression I have invented for 'seeing what else is out there' - it's something I do frequently. This is not necessarily because I am unhappy at work - quite the opposite. However, a good employee should know if they are well off or need to start shouting about a pay rise.
Having looked around, I see I am indeed drastically underpaid (see previous blogs) and that other employers are offering a good deal. Now this job cruise could also have a different outcome. Sometimes you see that you are in the right job at the right money and contentment seeps back.
Restlessness is the bedfellow of envy.
What this latest job cruise has shown me though beyond a doubt is that you should never be complacent at work, that no employer actually cares that much and that you are ultimately replaceable. It reminds me to work to live.
And despite the fact I am resolute about making no resolutions, I plan to do some living this year!
Tuesday 17 January 2012
Saturday 14 January 2012
Communicate with Me...
Something is really annoying me at the moment. It has stirred up the obsession soup inside my head. Normally I have easy obsessions. I like houses. I look at them frequently on line and I particularly like it if house plans are included....hours could be gone before I have to tear myself away. In between house browsing, I play spider solitaire and lose a lot!
It is an Aspie's lot to have special interests or maybe just one main one and lots of little ones. Sometimes, something happens that gets us riled up and then that will be the next serial obsession for a little while (maybe weeks/months/years). Eventually it dies away and we can resort back to the usual channels of behaviour.
This little niggle has been bubbling away interfering with my life in a horrible way. A bit like knowing you have an oil leak in the car or a broken washing machine. You can forget it for a little but the knowledge that it is there will always out.
So what has annoyed me so much? Well, for several good reasons, I cannot give too many details on a blog site. It is work related. What I can say is that I have a sneaking feeling that someone has been less than honest with me and in a way, I feel horribly betrayed. In fact, I feel conspired against - I think more than one person is involved.
In my previous blogs, I have been open about loving my job. It is one of the things about my life I normally feel very positive about. My job and my two children and some special friends are the elements of my life that make it okay. As I spend more time at my work than with my children or my friends, it has to be just right. And up to a point it has been good for the last couple of years. So, suffice it to say, this unwelcome feeling of betrayal has come as a blow.
In general, I am not defeatist or negative. My approach has been as it should be (I think). I spoke to the person I feel might be involved and received the answers I expected. My disappointment is real.
What I find difficult about communicating with neurotypicals is their complete inability to say what it is they want or what they think in a direct and clear way. Everything is 'between the lines' or I am just supposed to know what it is - I feel there is a lexical veil between me and the other world - I can hear the words but I cannot quite reach out and understand. This is always just a finger tip away from me. In many respects, I think I might give the impression of naivety.
What is refreshing is talking with other Aspergians - their direct and straightforward line of communication leaves no room for doubt. Don't ask if you don't want to know!
Interestingly, I think I was attracted to my husband initially because he speaks in a very straightforward way. Mostly it means there are no misunderstandings unfortunately, he speaks too much. I have discovered over the years, he is not someone who can be pleased about anything. If he wasn't so desperately unpleasant, I might think he was on the spectrum too. However, I have never met anyone with Aspergers that I didn't like - they are in the main, good natured, kind, honest and decent.
That is the crux of the matter. If people are dishonest towards us, or deal in underhand ways, the good natured Aspergian has a hard time getting the point - they feel hurt and bewildered.
In all that you do, be honest and kind. You might just start a trend for it!
It is an Aspie's lot to have special interests or maybe just one main one and lots of little ones. Sometimes, something happens that gets us riled up and then that will be the next serial obsession for a little while (maybe weeks/months/years). Eventually it dies away and we can resort back to the usual channels of behaviour.
This little niggle has been bubbling away interfering with my life in a horrible way. A bit like knowing you have an oil leak in the car or a broken washing machine. You can forget it for a little but the knowledge that it is there will always out.
So what has annoyed me so much? Well, for several good reasons, I cannot give too many details on a blog site. It is work related. What I can say is that I have a sneaking feeling that someone has been less than honest with me and in a way, I feel horribly betrayed. In fact, I feel conspired against - I think more than one person is involved.
In my previous blogs, I have been open about loving my job. It is one of the things about my life I normally feel very positive about. My job and my two children and some special friends are the elements of my life that make it okay. As I spend more time at my work than with my children or my friends, it has to be just right. And up to a point it has been good for the last couple of years. So, suffice it to say, this unwelcome feeling of betrayal has come as a blow.
In general, I am not defeatist or negative. My approach has been as it should be (I think). I spoke to the person I feel might be involved and received the answers I expected. My disappointment is real.
What I find difficult about communicating with neurotypicals is their complete inability to say what it is they want or what they think in a direct and clear way. Everything is 'between the lines' or I am just supposed to know what it is - I feel there is a lexical veil between me and the other world - I can hear the words but I cannot quite reach out and understand. This is always just a finger tip away from me. In many respects, I think I might give the impression of naivety.
What is refreshing is talking with other Aspergians - their direct and straightforward line of communication leaves no room for doubt. Don't ask if you don't want to know!
Interestingly, I think I was attracted to my husband initially because he speaks in a very straightforward way. Mostly it means there are no misunderstandings unfortunately, he speaks too much. I have discovered over the years, he is not someone who can be pleased about anything. If he wasn't so desperately unpleasant, I might think he was on the spectrum too. However, I have never met anyone with Aspergers that I didn't like - they are in the main, good natured, kind, honest and decent.
That is the crux of the matter. If people are dishonest towards us, or deal in underhand ways, the good natured Aspergian has a hard time getting the point - they feel hurt and bewildered.
In all that you do, be honest and kind. You might just start a trend for it!
Wednesday 4 January 2012
Do All Bad Things Come in Threes?
High winds again! Oh great. Not only were these winds higher than the last lot, they had rain attached. Pleasant to walk about in. Am beginning to think snow would be better...hmmmm
So, what went wrong?
First of all, my car decided to give up. Fortunately, I had managed to drive all the way to my office (with daughter in tow) and only discovered it was kaput when we were going to drive to the local shops for some food at lunchtime last Friday. Apparently the battery wasn't charging. Nice RAC man came, had a look at it, charged battery enough to get me to garage and drove me and small daughter home.
This would have been great but of course, New Year and the world and his wife don't surface until after the 2nd of January or later depending on what day it falls. So, spent the entire time without car. Fortunately, it being New Year, I had no intention of setting foot out of door.
What transpired of course was that the garage wanted £321.96 to fit an altenator and accessory belt. I asked them (dry mouthed) to tell me what that was for. Wait for it - £150 for an altenator, £10 for a belt and the rest for labour. Now I like to use a well known garage - gives me faith in what I am doing so I said 'okay'. Then I told husband who said 'not okay'. He drove to garage with a friendly mechanic found by my stepson, picked up car and drove it to our mechanics garage. My step son then sourced an altenator for £60 (just think about well known garage's mark up on that baby!). Friendly mechanic has charged me £45 quid to fit it and he did a couple of extra bits and bobs that needed doing and gave me some sage advice about oil and filters - these he could have sorted but my step son was adamant that he shouldn't (step son knows a Vauxhall mechanic who can do other bits). Step son actually knows everyone.
After a pleasant New Year of nothingness and moving on from trauma of cars - the high winds blew several ridge tiles off roof and a few slates followed suit. Some of these slates arrived via neighbour in a plastic bag having been rescued from their lawn. A trip up to loft and saw daylight - this wasn't a job to wait. Step son arranges a roofer to nip round. Indeed this wonderful chap nipped in, gathered all rescued tiles and ridges, slapped them back on and offered more sage advice about trims or rims (couldn't get it at all). Charging £50 - angel that he is.
As we were bemoaning the state of the lawn and the new slate accessories adorning it, we also noticed the waste pipe for our loo cistern was chucking water out a bit hastily...it shouldn't do it at all apparently - only if absolutely necessary. If that wasn't enough, water was also coming down the walls of the kitchen....oh.....
Step son knows a plumber who duly attended, fiddled about in the cistern, and is coming back tomorrow with a valve (don't ask - no idea) - and lovely man is only charging a tenner for this. He will be coming back soon to re-do the entire loo when I have enough to buy it. He is a genius.
The real genius is of course rather amazing step-son who just seems to have magic around him. He also got rather lazy husband to run back and forth with my car which is a miracle. I haven't actually had to do much apart from let people in the door!
My understanding is that most people would be fairly taken aback by all of this let alone an Aspie. And really there are no words to describe how grateful I am to these wonderful people. Not one person would probably understand that I am now in a state of abject misery because I have to go into a tyre place and ask for an oil change and filter.....ridiculous but true. Of course, if you ask another Aspie, they would just go 'of course - nightmare' and get it straight away. That's why adult aspies need other adult aspies to talk to!
Well, life is nearly perfect but for the fact that daughters out of school club were booking only this week and guess who didn't book because I assumed she was booked in already. So, small person will have to come to work and sit in a corner very, very quietly.....and there goes a pig past the window....
Beginning to wish for just one measly day all to myself.....
And if I got it, would be missing my children..........can't win!
So, what went wrong?
First of all, my car decided to give up. Fortunately, I had managed to drive all the way to my office (with daughter in tow) and only discovered it was kaput when we were going to drive to the local shops for some food at lunchtime last Friday. Apparently the battery wasn't charging. Nice RAC man came, had a look at it, charged battery enough to get me to garage and drove me and small daughter home.
This would have been great but of course, New Year and the world and his wife don't surface until after the 2nd of January or later depending on what day it falls. So, spent the entire time without car. Fortunately, it being New Year, I had no intention of setting foot out of door.
What transpired of course was that the garage wanted £321.96 to fit an altenator and accessory belt. I asked them (dry mouthed) to tell me what that was for. Wait for it - £150 for an altenator, £10 for a belt and the rest for labour. Now I like to use a well known garage - gives me faith in what I am doing so I said 'okay'. Then I told husband who said 'not okay'. He drove to garage with a friendly mechanic found by my stepson, picked up car and drove it to our mechanics garage. My step son then sourced an altenator for £60 (just think about well known garage's mark up on that baby!). Friendly mechanic has charged me £45 quid to fit it and he did a couple of extra bits and bobs that needed doing and gave me some sage advice about oil and filters - these he could have sorted but my step son was adamant that he shouldn't (step son knows a Vauxhall mechanic who can do other bits). Step son actually knows everyone.
After a pleasant New Year of nothingness and moving on from trauma of cars - the high winds blew several ridge tiles off roof and a few slates followed suit. Some of these slates arrived via neighbour in a plastic bag having been rescued from their lawn. A trip up to loft and saw daylight - this wasn't a job to wait. Step son arranges a roofer to nip round. Indeed this wonderful chap nipped in, gathered all rescued tiles and ridges, slapped them back on and offered more sage advice about trims or rims (couldn't get it at all). Charging £50 - angel that he is.
As we were bemoaning the state of the lawn and the new slate accessories adorning it, we also noticed the waste pipe for our loo cistern was chucking water out a bit hastily...it shouldn't do it at all apparently - only if absolutely necessary. If that wasn't enough, water was also coming down the walls of the kitchen....oh.....
Step son knows a plumber who duly attended, fiddled about in the cistern, and is coming back tomorrow with a valve (don't ask - no idea) - and lovely man is only charging a tenner for this. He will be coming back soon to re-do the entire loo when I have enough to buy it. He is a genius.
The real genius is of course rather amazing step-son who just seems to have magic around him. He also got rather lazy husband to run back and forth with my car which is a miracle. I haven't actually had to do much apart from let people in the door!
My understanding is that most people would be fairly taken aback by all of this let alone an Aspie. And really there are no words to describe how grateful I am to these wonderful people. Not one person would probably understand that I am now in a state of abject misery because I have to go into a tyre place and ask for an oil change and filter.....ridiculous but true. Of course, if you ask another Aspie, they would just go 'of course - nightmare' and get it straight away. That's why adult aspies need other adult aspies to talk to!
Well, life is nearly perfect but for the fact that daughters out of school club were booking only this week and guess who didn't book because I assumed she was booked in already. So, small person will have to come to work and sit in a corner very, very quietly.....and there goes a pig past the window....
Beginning to wish for just one measly day all to myself.....
And if I got it, would be missing my children..........can't win!
Sunday 1 January 2012
New Year - Aspie Style
Hey, hey! Happy New Year to one and all.
Spent new years eve with my daughter who is seven - her first 'stay up really, really late'. Oddly enough, she could have kept going for longer but I sent her to bed not long after the bells.
We did watch a lot of TV. First of all tuned into Allan Carr - bit too racy for a seven year old so went over to the glorious Jools but that was too grown up - found a happy medium at BBC 1 and danced and did silly stuff until the piper and the canon at Edinburgh castle heralded in 2012. What a lovely evening. I drank Fiery Irn Bru and daughter had coke. Very disorderly....
Husband sat on his Xbox all evening....will say little about this other than it was his loss. He claims now that he was indeed watching TV but didn't bother to let us know (we were holed up in son's room watching his TV - he is at his Dad's). That's a close bound marriage for sure.
My son called at midnight and spoke with his sister. The obligatory calls to family followed. Everyone else got a text or an FB message. All is well in the world.
As New Years go, this one will rank in my top ten. It was quiet, without drink and therefore no fights, tears, and sleeping with someone you shouldn't! Of course, I never did stuff like that anyway....ahem.
Looking back over the years, I can see many a good New Year flashing before me. The best ones are the quiet reflective ones where past joys are rediscovered and hope for the New Year springs into action. I can barely wait to see what unfolds for this year.
The news is awful. Economy going down the tubes, more recession, less money, job losses, home losses. Not enough money for our elderly, our young, for anyone. Who is running this mess? Young men with no real experience of life of course. Not even voted for by the public. Just got in by default. Not one on the front bench that I can think of has ever had a proper job or struggled in a home. Most of them are very rich indeed and of course, almost recession proof. How lucky.
We should not be sad. This, too, will pass.
Spent new years eve with my daughter who is seven - her first 'stay up really, really late'. Oddly enough, she could have kept going for longer but I sent her to bed not long after the bells.
We did watch a lot of TV. First of all tuned into Allan Carr - bit too racy for a seven year old so went over to the glorious Jools but that was too grown up - found a happy medium at BBC 1 and danced and did silly stuff until the piper and the canon at Edinburgh castle heralded in 2012. What a lovely evening. I drank Fiery Irn Bru and daughter had coke. Very disorderly....
Husband sat on his Xbox all evening....will say little about this other than it was his loss. He claims now that he was indeed watching TV but didn't bother to let us know (we were holed up in son's room watching his TV - he is at his Dad's). That's a close bound marriage for sure.
My son called at midnight and spoke with his sister. The obligatory calls to family followed. Everyone else got a text or an FB message. All is well in the world.
As New Years go, this one will rank in my top ten. It was quiet, without drink and therefore no fights, tears, and sleeping with someone you shouldn't! Of course, I never did stuff like that anyway....ahem.
Looking back over the years, I can see many a good New Year flashing before me. The best ones are the quiet reflective ones where past joys are rediscovered and hope for the New Year springs into action. I can barely wait to see what unfolds for this year.
The news is awful. Economy going down the tubes, more recession, less money, job losses, home losses. Not enough money for our elderly, our young, for anyone. Who is running this mess? Young men with no real experience of life of course. Not even voted for by the public. Just got in by default. Not one on the front bench that I can think of has ever had a proper job or struggled in a home. Most of them are very rich indeed and of course, almost recession proof. How lucky.
We should not be sad. This, too, will pass.
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