Saturday 3 December 2011

Weekend Again

So, I was curious - what did the refurbished Sainsbury look like?  My daughter and I drove along to have a look .  And it is impressive.  They have done a good job.  It was all laid out nicely and bigger and better.  Shame about the throng of people. 

I did indeed attempt browsing the Gok Wan Tu collection - lovely as it is, I couldn't bear people walking behind me so I gave up. 

In a moment of weakness, I bought pizzas for the children's supper and a boxed ready made curry ensemble for me and husband.  As I am full of mucus, I wouldn't be able to taste it anyway so it seemed like a plan.  Indeed supper was received well as my only contribution was warming it up!  Of course I forgot to buy milk....but hey, my Aspie brain was full....no apologies.

Weekends are odd - they are supposed to be relaxing aren't they?  Why is that?  Who has these relaxing weekends?  Certainly not working parents with a couple of small people in the house.  First of all, everyone has clothes.  School clothes, work clothes, casual wear,  and stuff young lad wore to football which is covered in mud and his hanging about the house clothes, and his going out clothes...ergo...a sodding huge load of washing.    Or should I say several loads of washing.  Machine might actually wash but it does not load itself or dry the stuff or indeed fold it and get it to the room it belongs to...that would be me that does that...grrrr. 

I am fortunate enough that we have a iron as you go policy (not everyone believes in this - some people will stand for hours ironing).    Husband and son do their own ironing.    I do smallest person's.  I rarely bother to iron my own clothes.  This, according to husband, is a Bad Thing.   I do not understand.  If there is something I can wear that does not need ironing, all to the good.   If it does need ironing, it goes into depths of wardrobe until I have a mad turn. 

Apart from washing tons of stuff, there is shopping to do.  Now I like to plan my menu for the week - see previous blogs to get the measure of how terrible this is.   I then walk about house taking notes of what we need.  I then hop on line and buy it and have it all delivered.  If I had to go and do a weekly shop in a supermarket with my husband one of us would be dead.   He is very annoying in a supermarket.  'Do we need this?' pointing at something not on my list....'Isn't it cheaper to buy the bigger size?'.....very fecking possibly.....'I don't like them'........who fecking cares?  And it goes on....and on....and on........I could be caught rocking backwards and forwards at the baked beans.........

All these nice things I get delivered need to be cooked....guess who by?  Actually, husband has been taking his turn recently....he is very good at it too which makes me look like a complete failure...but that's another story....

And then there is cleaning.  Now as I have already done all the washing, shopping, cooking, packed lunches, ironing of small persons clothes, bedtimes including a shower and a book for daughter, daily clean of kitchen, and so on, I don't think it's unreasonable to expect the others to chip in.  Daughter (7) has to tidy room (with my help as she is rubbish at this), son does his bedroom and vacuums landing and stairs, husband tackles sitting room, hall and kitchen.  I am left with my bedroom and bathroom.    I do not do bins.   Ever.  Well, not unless I feel in a whirl of energetic lust for heaving stinky black bags about.....

You might think this sounds good.  It is in fact a new thing.  It's only in the last few weeks that this arrangement for cleaning has come about.  After many tantrums, meltdowns, threats of divorce, I finally got husband to see that he must take a shot.  He doesn't do half but he does some which is much more than before.    

My son is not daft.  He realised early on that a guy that can work some magic in the home will get more women.   God bless his teenage heart.   Being a useless fecker like far too many men, leads to being terminally single or the possibility of being stuck with a woman who drinks her own weight in wine daily and has hardly any teeth left.    Attractive modern women don't want immature twits messing up their designer lives.  Quite right too.      I blame the Aspergers for landing in my situation.  I can't tell the difference between a lazy useless twat and a half-decent pull.    By the time I have worked it out...it's too late. 

I also blame the Aspergers for being very, very patient....or on the surface it's patience.    What it is really is very slow processing of information.     My kids are canny on this point and realise they can pretty much do what they want until Mother finally clicks....I forget they are supposed to be doing homework, in bed, not browsing porn on the internet etc., I get caught up in something and my brain shuts out the rest.    Husband likes to remind me of course....he is like a walking, talking memo board......with moaning and criticising thrown in.....I am extremely lucky to have him about.

In the words of the immortal cat Garfield 'Yeah, weekend!'.   

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