Friday, 11 November 2011

Aspergers and Obsessions

The topic being discussed on the FB Adult Aspergers Support Group page is Obsessions.  How do they affect your life?

I am obsessed with Aspergers for a start off.  I suppose that isn't so weird.  Afterall, it has only just become apparent to me that my troubles have a name.  I started looking into AS a couple of years ago - more interested for my brother I might add.  Of course, there was little said about Aspergers in women.  It has been studied in male children on the whole.  However, one tiny snippit mentioned some traits in women on the spectrum (see  I read through the list.  I think there were just two that I could not relate to.  That got me thinking.....and that's when I joined the group on Facebook.  Since then, it has just sort of sunk in that I am mildly autistic.  I am not entirely convinced that autism is Aspergers and Aspergers is autism - but I bow to greater minds than mine.  Anyway, here I am obsessing happily about it all.  I look foward to talking to my Aspie FB friends and discovering all the ways Aspergers rules their world. 

Some people are just like me.  They are married with children and find it all a little difficult (to say the least).  Others are more severe (it seems harder for the guys?).   Some of these wonderful people will never have full blown relationships, never work, never be able to venture outside of their own bubbles without it causing extreme pain (physical and mental).  They are heros/heroines.  Brave beyond my imagination and wonderful, creative, stunning creatures who weave their magic all over the world.   They write, they draw and paint, they build bridges, they champion the hard done by, they push boundaries through IT.  In fact, without a world of Aspies, we would still be living in caves! 

Like most Aspies, there are the obsessions.  Some have one enduring one (my brother has been interested in horse racing since he was tiny), some have many re-occuring ones, others have serial obsessions.  I suppose that sounds like me.

If I come across something that interests me, I will study it hard until I know it inside out - then it will be replaced by something else.  I also like games like spider solitaire, bubble shooter, and cube crash.  I go in cycles of playing these over and over again - sometimes it's not about the winning or the big scores, I just go through the motions - I suppose it's relaxing for me?

I am also obsessing currently about healthy eating.  I like real food anyway but have been off sweets, fats, and processed foods (to a great extent).  I would eat the same things every day but this isn't an option with NT's (neurotypicals).  NT's like variety.   I don't care much.    Some of my old flat mates can remember my tuna mayo mush and it worried them that I could eat that daily for months on end.   I just like to expect my food!    Once I like it, I like it for ages and then one day it changes and then that's the new favourite for months.    I have the same breakfast and lunch daily because I am at work so no-one is bothered about it - although my boss thinks its funny. 

Other current obsessions (a long enduring one) is work.  I think about my job rather more than is healthy.  If there is a problem I just love to sit and get a lightbulb moment and then I cant wait to get into work to try out my solution.   Unfortunately,  this is a problem when my youngest is ill or something.  I have actually taken her into work with me rather than miss out....I hate being off.   Aspies make rather good employees for that reason!  I was bullied at work for a few years and it took it's toll - I had a high absenteeism rate - but since that person is no longer working with me, I think I have had two days for a severe stomach infection - the whole family came down with it and I couldn't actually get out of bed.  I took my daughter in with me and we just slept and slept.  It was truly horrible.  I digress.  I was merely trying to impress upon everyone that for me to be off work, it has to be a real problem.   

Holidays can be difficult for that reason as well but because I miss my children so much during the week, it is sometimes just wonderful to chill out with them and not be worried if they want long conversations!  I don't have to keep to a timetable so I can afford to sit and listen.  Aspies can listen very well!   I was a Samaritan for a while.  I do not like drunks much but I can cope with just about anything else. 

Well, look at me rambling on like an old hag.   I meant to add that some Aspie obsessions can be unhealthy - I wonder if my brother's obsession with horse racing isn't a bit 'all consuming' but it is all he does all day every day - apart from eating and watching high brow quizzes - he is ultra clever and has a great memory - in terms of genetic sharing, he got the good bits and I got what was left over....jammy sod.   It would be quite cool to be good at something...

My mother says I am good at fishing for compliments....moo....she is extremely funny.    I get on better with her now because she used to be diplomatic (and very hard for me to understand - I used to get cross with her because she was a bit blurry)  - now she has opinions and she makes damn well she uses least I know where I stand.  It is far more comfortable than having to guess!! 

Shall I mention my weird relationship with nicotine.  Best not.  Save it for another day, another blog. 

My son is swearing his head off in his room.   A good parent would sort that out.  An Aspie parent wonders whether he can spell all those words properly....

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